Summary

1 Introduction

You may think I am making a mountain out of a molehill. The cause must not be repeated. My reaction to your entirely unwarranted invasion of privacy is that it is a monumental task to try to ensure that you do not repeat the errror of your ways.
The task includes pointing out to you that this is a one-way effort to put various ideas to you.
"One-way" since I do not intend to discuss anything with you whatsoever. No emails, texts or calls. Should we meet in any family occasion, we should endeavour to 'be normal'. Do not offer your elbow. A stupid event anyway as it defeats 6ft distancing.
This email includes the very important condition that MiL never finds out about this site and its various accusations which are forwarded in your direction. I have tried to explain BPs but she just couldn't understand.
Thanks for once helping to look after our garden

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2 Interruption

Around 18 months ago J and you came round. MiL and I were in the room. I said abso nothing, much to her chagrin after. A few weeks before, 'your full family' (including boyfriends) were in the sunshine. Your repeatedly interrupted me whenever I opened my mouth.
On other occasions, your wife found it necessary to tell you not to interrupt her.

3 Centre of attention

One theme of this email is that you need to be the centre of attention.
This aspect of your behaviour is the main concern. It leaves me guarded when you are around.
If your interest in being a guru means being the centre of attention then open your mind.
Otherwise, if you find that you must be such in the presence of your family, please advise us and we won't come anymore.
However, that won't happen because MiL doesn't understand the BPs concept and will be mystified as to why we don't visit you.

4 Brownie points

"The term 'brownie points' (often spelled with a capital 'B' when assumed to be in relation to the Brownies (junior Girl Guides/Scouts)) is known since the late 1940s." source
Its frequent appearance in newspapers in the 1950s date back to the earliest known usage in 1951, where a man in the Los Angeles Times speaks of earning favor with his wife in terms of brownie points.

5 Were you in your right mind?

To answer that you need to open your mind.
As someone whose life as a health care professional involves improving the wellbeing of others, clearly you need to consider the whole person.
What were you thinking about making mention of BPs?
You specialise in improving bodily function to offer clients better mental health.
Your expertise includes 80 year-olds. How often have you used innuendo to determine their ability below the waist?
Never, of course.
All the more reason for you not to use modern BP innuendo in a social situation.
Even less in a family situation.
And much less when your victim cannot answer due to his heightened embarrassment and the embarrassment of the observers if he had said what needed to be said to you.
The heightened embarrassment aspect includes the fact that the BPs innuendo was entirely inapppropriate.

6 More about the family situation

When either your daughters were about to go on holiday with boyfriends, did you embarrass the latter (et al) at an all-your-family event to tell them BPs tricks?.
You set yourself up as the expert on Christmas Day.

7 The future

1 In the next few weeks

2 Not at any time

3 The self

1 In the next few weeks

At "best", you and I are could only talk on the doorstep
In any event, you and I must behave normally.
No one-to-one contact
That includes text, snail mail and email. MiL and I often sit together and they can arrive.

4 The self

You can think of the "self" as someone's persona or worldview. At the deepest level, you might think of it as their soul or essence of being. I have explored some aspects of how what we think and do are related to the person who we are inside. And conversely, how do the things around us affect how we think and feel?